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Thug Life

Sol was a fine young man in his mid-twenties. Everyone in his hood – Zenzele – knew him, knew his family. Sol had laid his eyes on this girl so fine he knew he HAD to get her. Tsholo was the stuff wet dreams are made of.

It didn’t take a lot of convincing to get Tsholo to give him her phone number though, but not before she warned him her phone could only send SMS so his looking forward to chilling with her on social media was a waste of time. Sol decided to surprise her with a smart phone, and then some fancy clothes, and lovely trinkets; and on and on it went. Did I mention Tsholo was only 15? My bad…

Tsholo’s dad was a transporter and had to spend a lot of time on the road to make the money they both needed. Her mom had up and left when she was much younger so theirs was a little loving family of 2. She was her father’s entire world and he doted on her like no man’s business.

One of those days, her dad was home from work and so Tsholo couldn’t see Sol till he left cos she knew daddy dearest wouldn’t approve of the relationship. Thing is, she wasn’t picking up Sol’s calls either. And he was calling her to death. Her father finally got back on the road and guess who pulled up to the house immediately after he left?

Sol raped Tsholo, after slapping her around of course. She couldn’t fight him. He claimed he was pissed that she had ignored him for so long, but that was just the beginning of the end. Tsholo became Sol’s sex rape rag. His grip on her? FEAR. She had become deathly afraid of him and what a mighty weapon that was for him. Tsholo’s friend advised her to return everything Sol had bought her, stop collecting stuff from him, and come clean with her father. Sol didn’t take the hand back very well, and Tsholo’s body paid the price yet again. And of course, she couldn’t bring up the matter with her father, how could she?

And then came the sex tape. No, she didn’t end up like Kim K, she ended up dead.

Sol had gotten Tsholo drunk on some whiskey at her house and made a recording of him messing around with her. He added the recording to his fear arsenal and made baby girl mad miserable. He ended up publishing it on the internet in a fit of mad rage, one day when she couldn’t attend to him cos her sick friend needed her.

Don’t ask me how she died.

Sol’s father was rich, a well respected member of the community. But even Sol was SCARED of him. I mean here was a guy who beat his wife bloody because she dared iron his clothes on a Thursday and not on Tuesday like he had specifically instructed. This was the home Sol grew up in, this was the environment he had been nurtured in. Did I mention Sol was ridiculously scared of the man? He couldn’t even look him in the eye. Werey get levels sha.

Apparently, Sol felt emasculated at home, and being a rapist was his warped way of regaining control as a man. Simply put, he felt he could reclaim what power had been taken away from him at home by hurting people who were more helpless than himself.

This story was culled from some episodes of MTV’s Shuga. It’s a work of fiction, except it isn’t just fiction to me because I know a girl.

She was abused for about a year by an older man. She was 19 when it all began, the abuser was in his early 30s. She was threatened with a sex tape too, one made without her knowledge. As at when we spoke, she was a mental mess, had weird sexual preferences and unsolicited physical contact was a problem. She was also struggling with anxiety, depression, panic attacks and a sprinkle of suicidal thoughts ear and dear. Guess what? She had had a talk with her abuser years later and he did admit to haven been abused when he was a young boy.

My question is, when does it all end? Does it ever stop? This vicious cycle of abuse.

I watch a lot of documentaries on Discovery ID and I have noticed a disturbing pattern where most of the really horrible psychopaths have abusive histories. Humans passing forward abuse as though it were some sort of legacy is a real thing y’all, I question God about it sometimes. I had written a piece earlier in the year about how hurt people hurt people – you can read it here if you haven’t already. It will give you an added perspective on what I’m trying to say with all this plenty English. Tsholo’s story was a painful and unwelcome reminder of a fact I already knew.

T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E was one of 2Pac’s major badges. It’s an acronym for The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody. In case you still don’t get it, it means whatever behavior you feed infants with is what they will give back to the society when they are older. It’s a twisted and gloomy fact of life.

I am saying this to say if you are abusive towards a child/teen, PLEASE STOP IT. If you are abusing someone around a child/teen, PLEASE STOP IT. If you know an abuser and you can, PLEASE STOP THEM, or at least try. Please. Because this idiocy always comes back to bite us all in the ass and it ain’t pretty.

Oh, and Sol did serve time for his crime. Tsholo’s friends turned him in after the shock of her death wore off. But he only spent 6months on the inside before he was back on the streets and going after fresh victims. His father had pulled strings to get him out. And the girl I know? Her abuser still roams free, never had to deal with any consequences. God only knows how many like her he has to his name.

They never stop. It never ends.

Someone asked me some months ago if I believed in redemption. Well I do, absolutely. Just not for rape victims…

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