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“You don’t have to know where you are going to know you shouldn’t stay…”

Perfectionism is the bane of my existence. A blessing and a curse; I have found it to be both responsible for why I do things as well as I do when I manage to get around to doing them, and also why I procrastinate so badly sometimes because I need the conditions to be ‘just right’. Me being a perfectionist is why I shy away from doing stuff sometimes for fear of not doing them as well as I think they ought to be done. It is a big part of why I, who has so much life to live, barely lives.

A prime example is how the last time I wrote on here was seven (7) months ago. It is November, and this is only the second time I am saying anything. Why? Because I felt what I had to say was not curated enough, composed enough. As if I was not the same person who called this space a journal.

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PAST

All the haze I have been living in, the daze that has been my life for the better part of a decade now, I started getting really discontented with it say two (2) years ago. And while I started taking actionable steps towards making my life better, there was still a lot of holding back going on. But God, because perfectionism saved the day yet again. It seems this year, I decided I was finally going to sink or finally swim, and boy what a swim it has been!

I say ‘seems’ because none of the major moves I made were premeditated. They were all spur-of-the-moment decisions that felt to be the right thing(s) to do at the time. It was simply me refusing to settle for life’s crumbs when I could be feasting. Jesus did not die for me to be mediocre. Amen…

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PRESENT

Since the cleanse started, I have run away from Nigeria, pulled out of a partnership which had birthed something really dear to my heart, have two (2) major friendships tittering on what could be last legs; they may or may not make it. I am right now on the cusp of another major move into the unknown – I have no idea what I am walking into or for how long it will last. I am only hoping it will be good to/for me.

But that is not even the gist of it though. The gag is that I was doing all these without realizing what I was actually doing. That was until a few days ago when I heard Joseph Solomon say “You do not have to know where you are going to know you should not stay“. And it clicked! Because despite all the wahala that has come with my recent decisions and actions, I am yet the proudest I have been of myself in a very, VERY long time.

And so I figured if I was doing all these subconsciously with such amazing results, imagine me actually putting some thought and heart into it. Imagine how much happier I’ll be. And that is what I mean to share with you today.

FUTURE

If you are in an unfavorable situation/position, you don’t have to stay in it just because you do not know what ‘next’ looks like. If you are in a burning building, you would not stay till you know the next building you are going to, abi? Trust that sometimes God strategizes with us on the fly; it will come to you while you’re on the move.

I am not saying you should be out here making reckless decisions for no reason (not unless you want to😁), I am just saying to stop sticking around unsavory/hurtful situations and shitty people all ‘cos you do not have a clear-cut picture of what your next chapter will look like.

Stop letting yourself be miserable – it’s okay if it happens by accident, just don’t be your own enemy too. We only get one go-around at life. Live it urgently.

So if you were looking for a sign, maybe this is it. Do not stay back in that hell. MOVE, and trust that God loves you enough to carry you to a haven.

Oh, and guess who is 28 today!

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4 Comments

  • Henrietta

    Quick confession, I come here for the giphs. Plus, I missed you and I’m glad you back. Lastly, this post is giving me boot-kick vibes on the things that I ought to do. I’m running back to get my shit together, sis.

  • Emmanuel

    Keep moving forward D, just keep moving. Take your breaks and pauses but never remain in that spot before it grows on you. Well, if it does and all your conditions are met then, by all means, stay. Until then keep moving.

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